Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Because We Must Never Forget...

It recently dawned on me that in these, the opening days of a new year in the second decade of the 21st century, there is an entire generation of NBA fans that has grown up without knowledge of the legendary exploits of Keith Closs.

Who is Keith Closs?

Well... he's a 7'3" center that played two years of college ball at Central Connecticut State University, leading the NCAA in blocked shots both years. With 317 blocks in 54 games, Closs' ridiculous average of 5.87 bpg is still an NCAA record.

After starting his professional career with the CBA's Yakima Sun Kings, in the summer of 1997, Closs signed as a rookie free agent with the Los Angeles Clippers, with whom he spent three seasons. The best of these was this powerhouse unit's 17-65 campaign. In 130 NBA games, Closs averaged 3.9 ppg, 2.9 rpg and 1.3 bpg (to be fair, his numbers "per 36 minutes" were actually not bad: 11 ppg, 8.1 rpg, 3.6 bpg) before he was waived in May 2001.

Following his NBA stint, Closs played in the USBL, returned to the CBA and played in the ABA (not the cool one with Dr. J, David Thompson and George Gervin), before being selected with the 11th pick in the 5th round of the 2007 NBA Development League draft by the Tulsa 66ers.

After one season in the D-League, Closs signed with the Chinese league's Yunnan Bulls, with whom he averaged 16.1 ppg, 11.9 rpg and 5.9 bpg in his first season.

But what made Keith Closs special was the little things. Closs did the things that don't show up in the box score...

Like in 2000, when he appeared to be throwing gang signs outside a nightclub from the front seat of an SUV before he was dragged out by an angry mob and caught the business end of a pretty brutal ass-kicking.




Now, lest you think I am some sort of heartless smutpeddler looking to cash in on the suffering of others... this is a man (who was not seriously injured in the incident) that reportedly has a giant tattoo on his back that reads "F#@k the World."

Yes, Keith, f#@k a world in which you managed to earn $6.2 million without being so much as a blip on your industry's radar.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Awesome discription of me by someone who doesn't even know me. Hilarious!! -Boss Closs

REESE B said...

dont worry bout it bro lol imma call u later this dude is a hater lmao

Anonymous said...

Only someone who knows nothing about Closs would say some shit like that!!!! Its all good HATERS ARE REAL

Anonymous said...

He probably has that tattoo because of people like you. He was a good player on a bad team at the wrong time. He needed to look out for himself because the league was overrun by power hungry money crazed gm's

Chance said...

super wack....i met closs and he's a good dude, if you actually spoke to him you'd have a dope story because his stories are crazy funny plus he could give insight on what exactly derailed his career, which could serve as a great story for readers...